Marriage and Denial
by KissofJudas
Summary: -EARLY PIECE- Written from Reno's POV. Someone's getting married, it's not him, and he's brooding about it. 3rd and final chapter posted and edited from last posting . Read and review please!
1. Why are you doing this to me?

I'm sitting in the exact same place I was three hours ago, when I got the news. I know I should be happy for the two of them. He'll be happy, God knows she'll be happy, but the only thing I can't understand is why she couldn't have been happy with me. Have I confused you? Here, I'll take you back to the conversation.

*FLASHBACK*

The phone rings. "Hello?" I say. I just woke up.

"Reno, hi, it's Elena." I perk up instantly.

"Heya Elena. How are you? Haven't seen you in a week or so."

"I'm okay. How are you?"

"I just woke up."

"Then are you sitting down?" That stops me. Apparently she's got some Planet-shattering news because she knows very little shocks me anymore.

"Yeah…what's up?" I say, sitting down.

"I'm getting married." My heart starts a decline. With Tseng just out of the hospital, our off-and-on dating had become more off than on, but I still really…liked her, I suppose. I never really was sure what I felt for her.

"Oh? To who, Tseng?" She laughs.

"No. I just accepted the proposal – Rude asked me." My heart stopped. When I could feel it again, it was somewhere in the vicinity of my shoes. Rude was my – our – fellow ex-Turk! Rude was the tall, silent, bald guy with the sunglasses! Rude was a Neo-Midgar cop!

"How long have you been seeing Rude for?"

"Oh, we were like you and I – seeing each other off and on." Someone her femininity stopped her from seeing the breaking of the top guy rule: don't date your partner's friends. Especially don't date them at the same time. 

"That's…that's great, Elena." I could hear her smiling.

"Isn't it just? Rude's already said, he wants you to be his best man. We're thinking about having it in a month." I think about it. Do I want to be there?

"I'll think about it. I don't know if I can come."

"Oh…" She sounds heartbroken. Good, now she can be just like me. "Okay. Well, I'll tell him you probably can't make it. He'll be disappointed." Good.

"I know. Tell him I'm sorry." You can lie through your teeth for me.

"I will. Do you want to talk to him?" No, he's a bastard that stole my girlfriend.

"No, not right now. I might call again later…I'm kind of busy." Busy dealing with the loss of the one woman I truly thought I might love at the moment. Sure, I'll call. When hell freezes over.

"Okay. It's good talking to you, Reno. Love you." No you don't.

"Love you too." More than you'll ever know.

*END FLASHBACK*

The pieces of the puzzle all come together, and my life falls apart. I want to be happy for them, but when your heart is lying on the floor shattered into pieces, it's hard to be happy. A feeling I haven't felt before in a long time is washing over me. It's not sadness, though God knows I ain't happy. I'm far from fucking happy. It's not anger, though I'm not pleased with Rude. He knew! He knew I was dating Elena – he knew I thought I loved her! Okay, maybe there's a little anger, but that's not it.

It's rejection.

It's abandonment.

It's the feeling that all I've ever had in the world is gone and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

I shrug and stand up. My legs feel like rubber; they can't possibly support me, but I'm standing. Suddenly a wave of anger and resentment hits me and I run to my dresser. There's a picture of the two of us, just Elena and I, at the Gold Saucer. She's got her arms wrapped around me and a huge grin on her face. I'm smiling…well, no, I don't really smile – so I'm smirking with my hand on her shoulder. We were so happy. I scream in pain, in agonizing pain, and throw the picture across the room. The frame shatters. I run out of the room, grab my jacket, and run out of the apartment. It's raining. I've always found that when I need it to, the weather describes my feelings…

As I pass by the houses with all the happy people in them I realize that there's only one thing I can do to help ease my pain…

And it's one of the last things I really want to do.

You want a second chapter? Like what Reno's gonna do? Review…I'm willing to write it! Pleeeease read and review, it's all the love I get…

-Skie


	2. This is how it is, this is who I am now

All right, due to popular demand, here's the second installment to my story with Reno. Thanks to my two reviewers!

I waited until the wedding announcement came out in the newspaper to see when Elena and Rude's wedding was. I knew that my anger was mainly my problem, and to forgive myself I had to forgive them. They certainly waited long enough to announce it – the newspaper listed today's date. Maybe it wasn't them, maybe it was the stupid newspaper. I got into the only suit I owned other than my Turk suits and walked to the chapel. It was a beautiful service. The church was decked out all in white and shades of blue. Elena's dress was typical Turk blue. She looked like an angel. Rude was just in a Turk suit, but for once we could see his eyes. They were green. He looked odd without the typical sunglasses, but I must admit he had cleaned up nicely. Neither of them noticed I was there the entire time. 

As much as I hated to admit it…the two looked good together.

At the reception, I saw them doing the usual thing – cutting the cake, smashing it in their faces, all that good newlywed stuff. Opening presents, seeing Elena's feigned surprise at each one, it all brought too many dreams to mind. I just wanted to run away. However, I kept myself firmly in my chair in the back of the room. Finally the dancing and conversing section started and I approached the couple.

"Congratulations," I said emotionlessly. Elena looked up, shocked.

"Reno! You came!" She stood up and hugged me. I gave her a rather unenthusiastic hug back. She pulled away. "I thought you said you couldn't come!"

"Well, plans changed and here I am." Rude stepped forward and offered me his hand. I took it with only a slight smile in return for his unusually broad one.

"Good to see you, Reno."

"Good to see you without the glasses, Rude." Suddenly the smile died on both of their faces.

"Listen, Reno…" Rude started.

"No. Don't explain. I'm okay with it now." I had to lie through my teeth. This was their day. I could complain about how unfair life was when I got home.

"No you're not," Elena said.

"We've worked with you long enough to know what you're thinking, Reno," Rude said.

"Then you should have seen how much I loved her, Rude," I whispered. Rude nodded.

"I know. I just hoped…maybe…it wasn't as much as I saw." I pulled out a ring from my pocket.

"This…I was going to give this to Elena…when I asked her that same question you asked her." Elena gasped. "Here." I gave it to her. "I don't need it."

"No…Reno, I couldn't take this."

"Please, Elena." I put it in her hand. "I want you to have it, even if you don't wear it. It will help me." She took it slowly.

"Thank you, Reno…it's gorgeous." She slipped it on one of her fingers. It looked perfect – just like I had expected it would. "It's perfect."

"Thanks." Part of me needed to run away now, but I wouldn't let it.

"All this…it hurts you, doesn't it?" I nodded to Rude's comment. We knew each all too well. "I'm so sorry, Reno."

"No. Don't be. This is your day…you two need to be happy. I…I want you to be happy." I took Elena's hands. "That's all I want for you, Elena…I want you to be happy. If you're going to be happy with Rude, then I'm happy for you. I love you." There. I had finally told her. She smiled at me.

"I love you too, Reno. I really do." I nodded. I finally believed her.

"I should go…I don't want to rain on your parade." Rude smiled and offered his hand again. I pulled him into a typical guy's hug. When we pulled away, I actually saw tears starting in his eyes. "Knock it off, Rude. You're going to get me started and I hate crying at weddings." Elena smiled and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back, holding back the tears.

"Thank you for coming, Reno. I know you've got to be furious with us…but I never knew. I would have asked you…"

"It's okay, Elena. Be happy." I now really had to fight back the sobs.

"I will. Just…don't abandon us, okay? I couldn't handle…losing you." The tears started falling silently.

"I won't," I whispered. I pulled away from her and looked at her. Now we both were crying. "You looked like an angel. I could ask nothing better for you." She held out a card for me. I took it.

"Read it once you leave." I nodded and backed away.

"See you later." Rude and Elena both nodded and I walked out. I wanted to be mad at them so bad, but they sincerely cared about whether I'd accept them or not. I suppose…we'd always be the Turks to me, and Turks accepted everything as long as it didn't endanger another Turk. I had to forgive them. Pushing the wedding itself out of my mind, I read the card.

_Dear Reno-_

___ If you're reading this, then I'll thank you for coming. I really didn't expect you to… You coming means more to me than I could say. I'll give you this…I don't know if you still have yours, so you can remember us and our friendship forever. I do still love you…and I always will. Keep in touch, Rene. We'll always be the Turks._

_ -Elena_

It was the picture I threw across the room. The rain started again with my tears.

Damn.

Well? I don't really like it, but it's what I wanted to convey. Hope you all liked it…I may edit it later! Please review – tell me what I could do next! I've got a list – I'll be more than happy to add to it your suggestions!

-Skie


	3. Moving on, watch me leave you behind me

A/N: My liking of this story has gotten the best of me! Here's an unexpected third chapter. Tell me what you think!

* * *

I got back home and collapsed on my couch, sopping wet, crying, and really not giving a damn. I poured out all my anger, all my sorrow, all my everything into that poor shitty barf-plaid couch I rented for 310 Gil every month. The pressure was too much to take. I took the picture of Elena and I and set it on my desk. I would send it back to her, since I did still have mine. I'd need a new frame for it... I walked around the house a few times, calming myself down and then sat at the desk, pulling out a piece of paper.

_Elena – _

_I do have the picture of us. It needs a new frame because the old one got damaged, but I thank you for this anyway. I want you to have it – as a reminder of what might have been. You are right, we will always be the Turks. No matter how much any of this might have hurt me, as a Turk, I accept it as an event that does not endanger a fellow Turk. I can only hope that you two are happy. I could not stand it if you were not. Keep in touch, Lena. I don't know how often I'll be able to see you._

_-Forever yours,_

_Reno_

Elena would be able to read between the lines and see my true message: _I have the picture, keep this one – let it remind you of what you lost. I hate what you did to me but I'll deal with it. If he lays a finger on you I'm coming to kill him. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stand looking you in the eyes again – no offense._ A typical Reno message. I put it in an envelope along with the letter, addressed it, and set it aside to mail in the morning. I looked around me at my apartment. Everything reminded me of the old days...of the Turks...of Elena. I had to get out of here. I got out a large suitcase and began putting things into it, almost systematically. I never had very many possessions – when you're a Turk, you have to always be ready to move, move fast, and move without a trace of your leaving. Soon you could barely tell I'd ever lived in the apartment. I paid my last rent to the landlord and he was all too happy to take my key. I walked back out into the rain and began looking for a place to stay. Midgar wasn't the most accommodating of places in the daytime – it was hell at nighttime. All the inns were full and as I wandered from street to street I remembered a story I had been told once a long time ago. It was from the holy book of some religion...about this guy and his girlfriend that were trying to find a place to stay cause the inns were full and she was going to have a kid. They ended up in a barn with a bunch of animals. I never understood the story very much. Why didn't they stay with the guy's family? It said he was from there...and they always said the baby wasn't his. So why's he getting married to a girl that's going behind his back? I don't know. I just suddenly felt like them. I knew I had to get out of Midgar.

I don't know how long it was before I collapsed. I had just started walking and didn't stop until I fell. I looked around me and saw nothing. In the distance, I could see the lights of a city and I could just barely hear the sounds of the ocean. Maybe it was Junon. But if it was Junon...how'd I get over the mountains? Had I gone through the Mithril Caves? I didn't even remember. There was a vague memory of something like a Midgar Zolom but I killed it too easily... My head fell to the ground. I didn't care where I was. This was where I was staying for the night, whether the Powers that Be liked it or not. I was nearly asleep before I heard the sounds of an airship above me. That was odd, it was the middle of the night. Why was there an airship flying around? I don't remember any other clear thoughts after that before I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was on a strange bed in a strange room...that possibly wasn't so strange. I looked around to confirm my suspicions – this was the Highwind, an airship originally owned by Cid Highwind which was then taken by Shinra and later returned to Master Highwind again. Had Highwind picked me up? I tried to get up when my head decided otherwise and starting playing the drums on my brain with a pair of metal barbed clubs. I swore (of course, what else would I have done?) and lied back down again, closing my eyes to the light. Through my eyelids I saw the light dim as the door opened. "Ow," was my comment.

"And a good evening to you too," came the reply from a pleasant female voice. I inwardly blinked. A female voice on the Highwind? That was unusual. I opened one eye to see a woman with brown hair pulled away from her face in a plain ponytail, wearing plain clothing with a white lab coat over it.

"Who are you?" I inquired softly, so as to not bother my head any more than I had to.

"Shera Highwind, Cid's wife." Now wait a second, my brain insisted. Highwind didn't have a wife last time I knew him...

"Highwind's wife?" The woman nodded.

"The last time you saw us, Reno Kirinari, I was Cid's mechanic that he hated." I nodded. Now the name Shera rang a distant bell.

"If he hated you, how did you manage to get him to the altar?" She smiled.

"A bit of luck and a lot of patience," was her answer. I smiled. That was good enough for me.

"What am I doing on the Highwind?" Shera smiled at me.

"Well, Cid and I were headed back to Rocket Town when we saw you passed out on the ground. I convinced Cid to land the plane and pick you up." I gave her a half smile.

"Wow, thanks Shera. That's awfully decent of you."

"Hey, just because you were a Turk doesn't mean that you're doomed for life," she said, returning the smile and touching my arm softly. "We're almost to Rocket Town, Reno. Get your rest until then." I nodded and she started out the door.

"Hey, wait." Shera stopped and turned her head half back to look at me. "How do you know my last name?" The Turks had prided themselves for keeping at least their last names a secret. When you became a Turk, you left a fair bit of your past behind you. Shera just smiled.

"I remember you from before," was all she said as she left me to think.

A moment (or so it seemed) later, I felt the airship come to a halt. There was a noise at the door that might have been knocking, but I wasn't sure. "Yeah?" I called. The door opened and Highwind himself poked his head in.

"I knock soft enough for you, Reno?" he said, voice gruff but meaning well. I had heard all the different tones of his to know by now. It almost surprised me that he was being so nice.

"Yeah, could barely tell you were there. What's up?"

"Ship's landed. You feel up to moving?" I nodded slowly, the brain drummers slowing their rhythm a bit for me.

"Ya know, for a guy that didn't even want to pick me up, you sure are acting nice, Highwind. Any particular reason for the change in heart?" Cid shrugged as I eased myself out of the bed and followed him off the ship.

"No, not really. Shit happens to everyone; I can't make anyone feel worse off about it, just in case I'm ever in that position." I smirked.

"Golden Rule really went to your heart, eh?" Cid just gave me a scowl and I laughed. We made our way to their house and I found myself a seat at their kitchen table. "Thanks again, the both of you."

"No bother at all, Reno," Shera said with a smile to me. "Where were you headed when we found you?"

"Away," was the only answer I could find. "Trying to make a new start, I suppose..." I paused a second, thinking, but then related the tale about Elena and Rude and everyone. I finished, pausing to take a breath, and found my audience speechless. Cid turned his head a moment later, and Shera set a hand on my arm. Out of instinct, I set my hand over hers and shook my head, assuring myself no tears were coming. My eyes were dry, for once. Thank the gods. Tears in front of Highwind? Surely you jest.

"You can cry, Reno," Shera said softly. I chuckled, a rather sad excuse for my usual laugh.

"I've shed enough tears over the two of them." Shera nodded and took her hand away. Cid finally looked back, eyes slightly glossy. "I move you that much, Highwind?"

"Shaddup," he grumbled, adjusting his goggles. I smirked. "So what are you going to do now?" I shrugged.

"Keep walking until I pass out again, I suppose." Shera gave me a reproachful look and I had to laugh. "I'm kidding, Shera. I don't know, though. I don't want to go back home to Junon...and I don't have any family left. I kind of...severed those ties when I joined Shinra."

"Well, they're your family, I'm sure..." My look explained everything to Shera, and she fell silent. She didn't bring them up again, which I was very thankful for. "Well..." she started, but found no words to finish. Suddenly a harsh ringing made me jump. Cid was the one to smirk this time.

"Just my PHS, calm down, Turk." He flipped the phone-like device to his ear. "Yeah. ...Holy shit, you're the last person I expected to hear on the other line. What's up? ...Oh, sounds like a blast. I'm here dealing with Reno of the Turks. ...Yeah, he's left to turn over a new leaf or some such thing and now we're trying to find out where he's going to live. ...You're with who? ...Isn't he dead? ...Oh. Well...I'll ask...if you want. ...Okay. I'll send him over if he's willing." Cid flipped the PHS shut and turned to me. "Well, Reno, we've got you a place if you want it."

"Where?" Cid pocketed the PHS.

"Nibelheim at the old Shinra Mansion." Shera's head snapped around to look at Cid.

"That was...that was Vincent?" Cid nodded.

"Valentine? Valentine wants to put me up? Is he sick? He hated me!" I exclaimed. Vincent Valentine hadn't just hated me; he had attempted to kill me several times because I had breathed too loudly. Now he wanted to give me a place to stay?

"He's got your friend Tseng there too." I blinked.

"Tseng is staying with Valentine in the Shinra Mansion." Cid nodded. "And now they want to see if I'll join them." Cid nodded again. I stood up. "Well...I suppose that's as good as anything else." Shera and Cid stood up too. "Thank you again, Shera...Cid." Cid nodded and gave me a typical gruff Highwind handshake.

"Stop by anytime, Reno," Cid said. "When you're not trying to kill me, you're actually a decent human being." I smirked. Shera shook my hand, but then reconsidered and gave me a hug. I put my arms around her in return, rather shocked.

"Take care of yourself, Reno. Don't make me pick you up again." I smiled.

"I will, Shera. Take care of Highwind." Glancing over her shoulder, I glanced at Cid. "He'll need it." He rolled his eyes and I stepped away from Shera. Waving, I walked out the door and started toward Nibelheim.

_Almost without warning, the door to the Shinra Mansion swung open. A man wearing a blue suit is standing there, hunched over his cane. I almost didn't recognize him, but when his face lit up to see me, I knew him immediately. My commander and I embraced. "Good to see you, Reno."_

_"Same, Tseng...but...why didn't you tell anyone that you'd survived?" Tseng smiled._

_"I saw you fight without my help, Reno. You were good enough without me...and I didn't want Elena to know, honestly. It's been a great deal quieter without her always talking to me." I laughed. A third man, also in a blue Turk suit appeared in the background. The only oddities about this man were the unnatural red glow of his eyes and the tarnished golden claw at his side..._

_"Hello again, Reno," he said in that low voice I had heard all too often._

_"Vincent," I returned. There was an awkward silence for a moment or two. "Thanks."_

_"Once a Turk, always a Turk, I suppose," he added dryly. "I'm not going to let you two stay in Junon." I smirked and clapped a hand on his shoulder._

_"I always knew you had the Turk in you all along." Vincent smiled, a shadow of that smile I had only ever seen once on his face._

_"Yes...I suppose so."_

* * *

Okay! I'm done! No more on this! Marriage and Denial is finished, I'm going to work on something else now; I'm leaving you all! Goodbye!

-Skie


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